by Andrea Norris-McKnight

Do you need to become a caregiver to aging parents? Here are some issues to consider when deciding whether to care for them in their home or move them into yours.

If you’ve decided that your elderly parent is in need of a caregiver, you may be struggling with the decision of whether to care for your aging parents in their own home or move them into yours.

We wanted to find more about some issues to consider when making this decision, so we reached out to Martha Scully from Eldercare.com. We asked her to give us her thoughts about things boomers who may be going through this type of transition may want to think about. Here’s what she had to say:

Q: What are some factors to consider when determining whether it’s best to care for a parent in their home or yours?

Ms. Scully: Having a parent move in with you is an extremely big step for both parties. Before considering this decision, the relationship itself should be determined. Ask yourself these questions:

• How well have you gotten along in the past?
• Are they comfortable asking for help?
• Will your assisting them cause both you and your family members more stress than relief?

Always remember that there is a likelihood that your family member will need more and more assistance as time goes on.

Q: Who should be part of the discussion on where a parent will receive care?

Ms. Scully: Most importantly your parents should be part of that decision. They should not be told what is happening. That would immediately start things off on the wrong foot.

Secondly, if the parent is possibly moving into your home, your spouse and children should be a large part of this decision. They should be well-informed and prepared as their lives are going to change, and likely everyone will play a part in the care.

Thirdly, any other immediate family should be involved. This is especially true if you are expecting any respite care or financial help from outside family members.

Finally, your parent’s family doctor should be consulted and other important care professionals should be informed and asked his/her opinion on care.

Q: What types of living arrangement changes might you need to make if you decide to care for a parent in your home?

Ms. Scully: Privacy for yourself and your parent is very important. In many situations, family members choose to have the parent in a part of the home that is accessible but also private.

Setting a parent up so they have their own TV and quick access to a bathroom is always ideal. You may need to consider items like stairs, steepness of stairs, and wheelchair accessibility. You may also need to consider future needs this way.

Q: If you choose to care for a parent in their home, what are some things you’ll want to think about when setting up their care?

Ms. Scully: Often a parent wants to stay in their own home as long as possible. Safety is the most important factor. Are they able to care for themselves? Is there a risk of falls, or are there obstacles for them to just not be able to care for themselves?

If you are considering a caregiver, you will need to determine what type of caregiver is necessary. If you require someone with a medical background (like a nurse), affordability has to be considered, especially if you need 24-hour care.

Related: Things To Discuss With Aging Parents Before Becoming Their Caregiver

Q: Is there anything that people commonly forget to consider when faced with this type of care decision?

Ms. Scully: There are a few common items that are often forgotten. First, the individual that is receiving the care should always be included in all decisions of their own care. They may need things to move a little slower than you want, but it is important for success that they are part of all decisions.

Whether it is a family member or outside care, another item that is often forgotten is the limitations of the caregiver chosen. There are certain things that a caregiver can and cannot do. These duties should be explored in advance. Caregivers do not have unlimited hours that they can work. It is always best to determine the hours in advance and respect that the caregiver has her own life to attend to.

Related:

• How an Elder Law Attorney Can Help Elders and Caregivers
• Often Overlooked Costs Associated With Caregiving
• Things to Consider Before Becoming a Caregiver to an Aging Parent

Reviewed March 2023